well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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