Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
