Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT