Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.