Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.

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  (518): She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog. http://tfl.nu/0zps
  Replies (10) Good night (813) Bad night (2867)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....

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  (970): just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address.... http://tfl.nu/ivpp
  Replies (28) Good night (6401) Bad night (2173)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.

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  (407): Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit. http://tfl.nu/dysf
  Replies (9) Good night (870) Bad night (3531)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper

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  (225): i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper http://tfl.nu/01yr
  Replies (16) Good night (4120) Bad night (1630)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.

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  (845): Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere. http://tfl.nu/7gle
  Replies (22) Good night (6602) Bad night (1559)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.

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  (773): Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight. http://tfl.nu/f50l
  Replies (5) Good night (4415) Bad night (899)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard

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  (630): Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard http://tfl.nu/pb8h
  Replies (7) Good night (2969) Bad night (1049)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.

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  (715): Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them. http://tfl.nu/68wg
  Replies (8) Good night (3155) Bad night (1111)
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  (310): View more from California

  It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw

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  (310): It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw http://tfl.nu/ozdy
  Replies (12) Good night (2928) Bad night (687)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover

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  (303): I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover http://tfl.nu/1e3z
  Replies (9) Good night (1357) Bad night (581)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?

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  (615): I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there? http://tfl.nu/ykvu
  Replies (4) Good night (1329) Bad night (541)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.

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  (812): Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes. http://tfl.nu/kd9i
  Replies (6) Good night (809) Bad night (387)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck

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  (816): I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck http://tfl.nu/awst
  Replies (2) Good night (410) Bad night (933)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by

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  (801): I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by http://tfl.nu/pt0j
  Replies (5) Good night (397) Bad night (406)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?

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  (602): Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose? http://tfl.nu/la44
  Replies (3) Good night (310) Bad night (504)

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