Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl

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  (434): ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl http://tfl.nu/vx26
  Replies (8) Good night (2892) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  her vagina looked like bernie madoff

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  (212): her vagina looked like bernie madoff http://tfl.nu/jcdd
  Replies (23) Good night (549) Bad night (3891)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.

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  (407): Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date. http://tfl.nu/dv8x
  Replies (26) Good night (524) Bad night (4324)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy

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  (410): Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy http://tfl.nu/8k4u
  Replies (7) Good night (610) Bad night (1855)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood

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  (647): We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood http://tfl.nu/ffyp
  Replies (36) Good night (869) Bad night (6027)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.

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  (864): I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you. http://tfl.nu/pv7t
  Replies (11) Good night (7441) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine

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  (815): im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine http://tfl.nu/4lyn
  Replies (27) Good night (5799) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.

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  (575): I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time. http://tfl.nu/x351
  Replies (6) Good night (2083) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B

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  (303): I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B http://tfl.nu/0558
  Replies (11) Good night (3340) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!

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  (408): He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!! http://tfl.nu/u5h8
  Replies (14) Good night (2266) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?

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  (919): At what point would you like us to save you from yourself? http://tfl.nu/30aa
  Replies (3) Good night (1922) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Ecstasy should be its own food group.

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  (316): Ecstasy should be its own food group. http://tfl.nu/46zl
  Replies (5) Good night (1238) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.

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  (216): Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know. (440): Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl. http://tfl.nu/hazv
  Replies (2) Good night (2102) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.

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  (562): I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch. http://tfl.nu/mth4
  Replies (2) Good night (1106) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...

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  (315): Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive... http://tfl.nu/b7nd
  Replies (9) Good night (648) Bad night (296)

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