Im at strip club and am horny
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I would not recommend douching while drunk.