Texts From Last Night

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  (231): View more from Michigan

  So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again

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  (231): So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again http://tfl.nu/75wq
  Replies (10) Good night (2732) Bad night (855)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.

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  (630): Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself. http://tfl.nu/vif9
  Replies (55) Good night (11164) Bad night (1579)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide

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  (813): watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide http://tfl.nu/fnhs
  Replies (41) Good night (7443) Bad night (658)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people

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  (612): I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people http://tfl.nu/8cwf
  Replies (28) Good night (1334) Bad night (5516)
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  (315): View more from New York

  and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...

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  (315): and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame... http://tfl.nu/05iu
  Replies (8) Good night (2677) Bad night (1093)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...

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  (806): i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea... http://tfl.nu/m62q
  Replies (1) Good night (2131) Bad night (812)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.

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  (724): The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape. http://tfl.nu/5pgg
  Replies (5) Good night (2355) Bad night (879)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita

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  (570): I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita http://tfl.nu/65sn
  Replies (4) Good night (1708) Bad night (791)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me

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  (814): i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me http://tfl.nu/y6ou
  Replies (16) Good night (3986) Bad night (1180)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house

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  (412): Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house http://tfl.nu/5tya
  Replies (7) Good night (1158) Bad night (621)
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  (510): View more from California

  So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.

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  (510): So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor. http://tfl.nu/fpi2
  Replies (1) Good night (964) Bad night (326)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..

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  (918): You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man.. http://tfl.nu/8lw1
  Replies (1) Good night (272) Bad night (693)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  ....you got kicked INTO a party??

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  (306): so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay. (1-306): ....you got kicked INTO a party?? http://tfl.nu/nppd
  Replies (2) Good night (873) Bad night (289)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it

  (317): View more from Indiana

  is it necessary to steal the whole car?

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  (815): I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it (317): is it necessary to steal the whole car? http://tfl.nu/9ygq
  Replies (1) Good night (874) Bad night (311)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"

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  (319): One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat" http://tfl.nu/szqu
  Replies (2) Good night (434) Bad night (208)

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