The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year