If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
