Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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