Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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