i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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