Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I showed him my bush... on skype.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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