I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
