She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
50% drunk capacity currently
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
