Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
