Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
