I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
