Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
