I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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