I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
