I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
