he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
