Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
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oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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