wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
