she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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