We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
