I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize