Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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