some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
NoShamevember. You game?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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