I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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