I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
