piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
