Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize