No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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