I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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