dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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