Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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