I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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