I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
FUCK WHALES
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