She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
