You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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