I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
