tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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