real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
