What tipped you off? The sombrero?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
