i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?