i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today