his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
