found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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