You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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