we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
