the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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