Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
