Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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