if you like me you must not know who I am
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize