Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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