sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
