With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
