Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
