The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize