But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
