people are starting to question the shark bite story
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize